About Me

This is the part where I’m supposed to tell you about myself-- and while I could just give you my whole resume or like my LinkedIn or something-- I'd rather tell you my story.

I’m Esperanza. I’m a Chicagoland-based Chicana artist, multidisciplinary creative, and someone with approximately seventeen thoughts in her brain at all times.

One of my many truths in life is that art has always been a necessity.

Some of my earliest memories of joy involve drawing, making things, and getting completely lost in watching works like Princess Mononoke. Art was living and breathing in my every day that I would do anything to make or consume art at all times of the day. So much so, it became a known that I'd ignore everything to make something.

Over time, I assumed what everyone else assumed: my art making was just habitual escapism. I was making art to avoid reality-- I was profusely nervous in most social situations, I was a very sensitive and quiet girl, which made me the perfect target for bullying. So it made sense why I would engage in art so deeply, it kept me sane; It was a way to disappear into something beautiful when the real world felt like too much.

It only made sense that I wanted nothing more than to be an artist--to create non-stop

for a living. So I did all things creative as much as I could. And all that work led to me committing my life to artistry. With that, change, making art as a career, came with a new world of business and while most of it was sensical and I was able to navigate through it all-- when it came down to describing my work or my intentions, I could never respond.

Out would come the word vomit. I could never really tell people definitively why I made art. And trust me 25 years of soul searching and there was always something I couldn't quite put my finger on. But persevered and overtime I went from tabling at events to having my own store.

Happily ever after right?

Well not quite. You see on the outside it seemed like I was on top of the world. I was making money and I quit my full time job and I was learning some pretty strong business skills. I was building a large empire on a cracking foundation: I was over extending myself. And I didn't stop until the weight of everything I built started crumbling down. And just like that, it was all gone.

I stopped painting. I got lost.

I felt like my body broke down on me and I was desperately trying to pick up the pieces

and be the person I was. The artist. The business woman. The superwoman. But at the same time I was in and out of doctors appointments. Just trying to get answers on why my body was doing this to me.

I didn't know what to do other than keep asking for another screening or another test. I was chronically exhausted, I started having stomach issues, and then I started getting pain. I was constantly brushed off but I kept pushing until I found the one doctor that heard me out. We tried new stuff and she would suggest a new test.

I started regaining control of my life.

With a lot of heart ache and jumping through hoops, I finally had my answer: I discovered that the way I perceive and process the world is unique and my biology is just built different. Because what I discovered is that I am Autistic with ADHD. [And if you want I sweet article about ADHD, Autism, and AuDHD, check out this sweet article by Dr. Megan Anna Neff, an AuDHD clinical psychologist]

Why would that matter to me as an artist? Well you see it explained a lot of the mysteries I was experiencing as a person and as an artist; Knowing that I am an AuDHD individual explained why I am chronically exhausted or why I sometimes things didn't make sense to me to down to why I make art. In my new understanding of myself, I realized that art made sense of emotions, it helped me explore my identity, seal memories in a still image, process grief, and even engage my curiosity and so much more.  It is my language and gift to the world.

This is all a recent discovery for myself and I'm ready to get back into making art and tell the stories of my works.

On this site, you will find art, thoughts, stories, and maybe even some classes someday.

Welcome to my art space.

Welcome to my medicine.

Welcome to my healing.