How Soltera Creative Came to Be
Before Soltera Creative, there was Brewja Co. And before I explain anything else: Brewja Co is not dead. She is simply resting, reorganizing, and waiting for me to get a few more things in order. She will come back in the future when I have all my businesses running in a way that actually makes sense and does not make me want to crawl into a hole. But for a long time, Brewja Co was the place where I tried to put everything.
My art.
My business ideas.
My dreams of a coffee shop.
My dreams of an art gallery.
My dreams of a music venue.
My personal work.
My creative resources.
My whole entire self.
It was too damn much. And I was too ashamed to admit that because there were so many supporters in my world that I didn't want to let down. But I was genuinely Killing myself trying to be everything and giving up my entire self to the project. After much consideration and many sleepless nights, I decided that Brewja Co was no longer working. At least, not how it was functioning before.
At the time, I had been about 8 years deep into this dream of creating a business that doubled as an art gallery and music venue. And I felt that taking a step back was an admission to failure and I could never try again. (my brain has a tendency towards definitives)
I still believe in that dream deeply. I want that venue but it is going to look a lot different for my sanity's sake. When I was trying to create this beautiful thing, I invested a great deal about my personal work, my art, my creative process, business building, coffee, community, classes, and music -- everything that my essence is about. And it was stifling me as hell. Trying to create this "super center" idea with no financial backing; backfired so bad to me as a business owner, a creative, and as a human.
And in my heart, I knew it but I needed to hear it from every corner of the universe (again, weird brain) and even though I talked to several professionals about Brewja Co being a 5-in-1 business; I felt that they were trying to dim my sparkle. Which, nuts right? But I was so determined but at the same time, I was on the brink of a mental breakdown.
I was trying to make one container hold every version of me, every idea I had, and every future dream I wanted to build. And instead of helping me expand, it started making me feel stuck. All of this to say:
Brewja Co was sucking my soul out like any other job I held. While I'm aware that I cannot escape capitalism, I was giving too much of me to my dream-- which kind of Ironic right?
The reality is capitalism is going to do its thing and no matter who you are, a business is a business. And you just cannot let yourself be consumed by work, even if it is your own work. And I learned that the hard way. I went from making $4k-6k a month to $0.00 because I gave my mind, body, and soul to this business.
I was so tired and overworked that I stopped making good decisions that were fiscally sound. I was not only hurting myself, but I felt that I was hurting others in the process. And I could not continue that way no matter how disappointed I was in "failing". Then came time, where money was tight and funds were out and I had to close my doors. And of course that wasn't the end there. I was still trying to get back on my feet to try again.
As much as I want to say it was a clean break, it was not. I was still trying to make stuff happen. And honestly, for all the wrong reasons. I was trying to keep up an image for myself. I wanted to finally be independent and successful and show that everything I sacrificed was worth it. I wanted the struggle to mean something. I wanted to prove that I wasn’t wrong for believing in it so deeply.
But I wasn’t enjoying the journey anymore. I was creating because I needed the latest product, I rarely made art because I wanted to, and I was making art with no energy. I was trying to be a machine and that is not sustainable.
Eventually, I had to admit something that hurt my feelings very badly: Brewja Co could not be the place for all of me anymore. I had built it in a way that required too much of me to survive. And I do not want to build anything that requires me to disappear inside of it.
That was the beginning of Soltera Creative.
Soltera Creative came from the realization that my art, my personal writing, my creative process, and my healing needed their own home. Not something squeezed between coffee content, business updates, and whatever else I was trying to make Brewja hold.
I needed a space where I can paint whatever I feel like, paint naked ladies all day, and make vulgar signs-- Just something that was going to limit me because I needed to commit me to a brand. Here I can pivot and do whatever! Because my art is my art!
So in the last 5 years, I steeped away to take a much needed rest and reflect on what I wanted to do. The super store model business that Brewja Co was done. And I made spaces where I can talk about the stuff that interests me:
Brewja Coffee and Tea (Work in Progress) and of course
In doing this, I was able to relieve the pressure of being everything and simplify the messaging of my businesses. Brewja Co become what it actually needs to be: coffee, recipes, community, and maybe one day the physical space I still dream about.
Call it what you want, but to me this pivot was necessary. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for a dream is stop forcing it to be everything at once.
Welcome to Soltera Creative.
Welcome to my art space.
Welcome to my medicine.
Welcome to my healing.
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